Well folks, I just guaranteed that for the next 5 years, the central portion of the Midwest (KC) will recieve exactly no measurable snowfalls. Not over a 1/4 inch of snow will fall in any one snow event as the weather folks now like to call them. And just exactly how can a simple nonmeterologist like myself make such a bold prediction. It is easy. See, I just bought a snow blower for the first time in my life. Yes sir, exactly one year too late, instead of shoveling 70 feet of driveway free of 20 inche of snow, I could have been zipping along, blowing snow into my neighbors yard, building a barrier to prevent his large dogs from yellowing my pristine snow.
But no. I had no foresight last year to make such a purchase. Then again, a 15% off sale at Lowes plus a 50 dollar coupon and a 50 dollar gift card made yielding to temptation all too easy. It isn't the biggest Troy-Built they make, but it isn't the smallest either. It was the one right below the one that was DOT rated for clearing Interstates. Yes sir, I am ready now for that wet white stuff to fall from the skies. Just one problem though. The last time I bought a sled for my son, it didn't snow enough for two years. So, I figure it may be five years before I'll get to use this baby. Just about the time it will no longer start, even though I will lovingly go crank 'er up once a month in the winter, we'll get another 20+ inch blizzard. Then the trusty plastic snow shovel in the corner once more will make a grand exit from the garage, scooping snow one heavy shovelful at a time.
Yes sir, this may be the best investment in climate control I have ever made. Sorry kids, you really didn't want those snow days.